Thursday, July 3, 2014

That Time Where I Write About Whatever That's On My Mind -- Yep, That Happened.

 Hey all! So I know that I have been MIA for a while. I post some here, I post some there, but I haven't been consistent. I miss being on my blog, responding to comments, interacting with all you wonderful people who brighten my day! I've just been so busy, which is a good thing I guess, right?

I don't know how those of you with full time jobs and a family find the time to do such beautiful manis, let alone just paint them! I applaud you all!

I think one of my issues is the process in which I do my manis..........I don't plan ahead with enough detail. I might just think flowers, but not what I want them to look like or colors. On the other hand (hahahaha!), if I don't fully plan it out, I can't be too disappointed when it doesn't come out all fabulous like I see in my blog feed. 

So yes, I've been absent because I lack time (where's my TARDIS? Think of all the manis I could do!) but also, I believe I am lacking confidence. I've noticed this at work too. 

I feel that I am way under skilled at many things. For my manis, I'm not a fabulous artist, I'm not even the best swatcher either! I happy when I don't get any paint on my skin! Win! My photos are super crisp and clean and bright like I want them. But then I think, so what. It's my blog and who gives a hoot (owl, get it?), I decide! But I really do give a hoot about how others perceive me and my blog and my nail art. I've always been one who has needed that assurance. >_< Bleh!

At work I feel that I am not qualified to be in my position. I am the Prestige Manager. Sure I know my products, I know a lot about what certain ingredients do for you (thank you beauty blogs!) but I don't look the part and don't have any real training in applying makeup. And don't get me started on using a specific brush for a specific product! Ok, yes, I know the basic brushes but that's it! I just wing it. 

They hired a new girl at work. She is perfect looking, beautiful hair, beautiful skin, oh and she is going to school to be an esthetician. Fab. Here I am, my makeup isn't flawless (I don't like it to be caked on), my blemishes (though covered) show in all their glory screaming to the world: look at me, I'm 33 and have worse acne than I did as a teenager! Ugh! I always feel less than qualified when she comes over and hovers when I am color matching (the way I was trained by Bare Minerals). She throws off my groove because she looks the part and is perfect (I know, I know, no one is perfect). But everybody at my job looks the part, I feel like the ugly duckling in the group, don't quite fit in (skill-wise).

I know I should just suck it up. Yes she can do all those things but she doesn't know all the product yet and she doesn't have the manager knowledge I have and she doesn't have my quirky-ness. But it still hurts, you know? 

And that's how I feel about my manis too. I see these great works of art, frame-able even! And I look at mine and think: nice try kiddo. I don't know why I am writing this. Ok, one is because I haven't really written to you all for some time so I thought you should get something and find out what I've been up to: work. But I really didn't intend for all of this to come out. I guess I needed a good vent where I know not many will see! Hahahaha! Yep, so I put it up on the internet. ;)

So um yeah, that's that. I do have some great things coming up though to share with you! I have an awesome review of some awesome Indie polishes! The Digit-al Dozen is coming up soon (need to get working on those! Only have one done so far! Yikes!) and I have The Nail Challenge Collaborative (double yikes! Need to work on those) (see, there goes my "planning").

Oh and I've joined the Blogger2Blogger Book Club!


I hope to have more up but I'm still trying to find my groove.